And so it goes

I am still on the AP and waiting. I have read on other AP websites, that the longer you are sick the longer it can take for the whole thing to reverse. So I am trying to focus on the positive, and continue through. I don't have a clue if I am like a dog chasing its own tail or if I am indeed on the way to a new way of life. I can only hope that it is taking a long time, because it took years to get this bad.
So for now I continue, one foot in front of the other.
The fatigue is really rough. I spent the whole day in bed Sunday, most of Monday and only be sheer force of will have I stayed out of bed today. It is hard to keep my eyes open, if I let myself lie down. So I am busy with anything I can find to distract me. Myspace bulletins, YouTube, email, made some homemade Chili. Now I am waiting for Dillon's baseball game. Anything to keep busy, but it is hard with the pain and fatigue dragging me down. I will probably take a peroxide bath, see if that helps. That with Epsom Salt is supposed to help. We'll see. Well, onward and upward. Carry on, till we meet again...hopefully I will have something of worth to say. Today wasn't a total loss. I did find out that aluminum foil has tabs on the box that keep the foil roll in place while you tear a sheet. Who knew that? I know I didn't. So, today did have something to offer. You have to count your blessings, no matter how insignificant they may seem. I spent years in the struggle with foil and in an instant the whole issue was resolved! Take that and run with it!

Fatigue

I don't know how to describe the fatigue I am feeling. I thought it was due to Herx, but have to wonder if that is the case, since it is going on so long. I am just so fatigued, I can barely keep my eyes open. Makes it feel like you are walking in a fog, completely detached from the world. I struggle to understand what people are saying to me. I hear the words, but they don't connect. I keep saying "what did you say?" and it frustrates me, and those talking to me. I am sure they think I don't care, or I'd be listening. I am listening and I hear, but the words bounce around in my brain, not connecting to meaning. It is so frustrating! My pain levels are at an all time high as well. I hate to even blog, because I sound like a complainer. People keep saying, when you going to update your blog? I want to, but it would be nice to come on here and say "Finally! Results!" yet here I am, just complaining. It doesn't help that my diabetes is so out of control. I really try but it is hard when you are so broke...it is cheaper to eat Grilled cheese than to buy salad. I mean to tell you if there is a way to screw up finances, I will find it. I rob Peter to pay Paul. It is my life goal to get out of this cycle of pain and poverty and to regain prosperity and charity. I want to give, not take. So please God if you are listening, I want my life back!!!
So, I am going to leave it at that. I don't want to turn this into a pity party (too late?)!
So here's to health, happiness and the pursuit thereof...