My intent was to post daily, but since I am so fatigued and in so much pain, it'd be like portraying myself to be negative in this treatment. I am anything but! I am looking forward to this being the answer. In the mean time,it is supposed to make me feel worse, so I am not discouraged when I tell you, I have never been so tired.
I wonder how it looks from the outside looking in, when a perfectly normal (quit laughing) looking person suddenly begins limping in pain, and a few minutes later be OK. It is what this disease does, and while it looks completely insane, I have talked to many with the exact same symptoms. It is like your body is a foreign entity, and it will defy you at any minute and when you least expect it. You hold a cup of coffee, trying to seem intelligent (which in itself gets harder to do because your brain synapses are not synapping) and your hand just lets go of its grip. It is crazy! Now your lap is filled with the hot coffee, and your family is looking at you like you flipped your lid. Maybe you have. Forget doing dishes...I think someone is stealing my cups and glasses, but I may have just dropped them all. I know the first thing I hope that this AP changes is the dead fog my brain is in. I want so desperately to know what you are saying, yet no matter how hard I listen it is just not getting through. I have to read the same sentence over and over, to understand. I like to think I am a fairly intelligent person and yet I will somehow switch my words around and sound like a complete idiot. Like " let's slip out the back, Jack" which is what I meant when I told my husband "let's slip out the Jack, Back"! And I will end today's rant with my sister's funniest brain fog moment: trying to sound like she knows what she is talking about, and proud she got through her point without a fog moment, ended her speech to her co-workers with " and you can put that in your smoke and pipe it!" Oh yes! It is enough to bring tears of frustration and laughter all at once. And with that I say " Please let this AP work quickly!"
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2 comments:
Carla you really should write a book....You write so good.....Pull all you stuff together on fibro. and your life, and what you go through and what could be next with this AP....I bet you could help alot of people...Think about it.....People in pain really need to hear it from the source of another person going through it....Your a good speaker....Just Do It.....
I think your writing must surely be a great therapeutic outlet. Keep it up because I want to follow your road to good health minus the pain and frustration.
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